Sunday, December 28, 2008

control that kid

I took some of the girls from the center out to lunch today. We sat next to a table with a mom, her three kids and the grandparents. Other than a few toddler outbursts and whining next to us, lunch went well. It did, however, confirm to the girls that their adoption decision was right on. At one point the frazzled mother took her young son by the arm and led him of the room as he said "I will be good, I will be good..." Unfortunately it was too late for him. As they came back into the room a few minutes later, mom in the lead, the boy (probably about 3 years old) said to his mom "I am so mad," to which she replied...."I don't care if you are mad." I got a good laugh at that one.

Friday, December 26, 2008

look out martha

Ok, so I may not cook, bake and decorate as well as Martha Stewart, but I have to say that I did a pretty handy job yesterday cooking a bird and the fixins. More on that in a minute.

Christmas went very smooth. This is why it pays to plan ahead. Two years ago when we were in FW for Christmas with Scott's family it didn't go so well. Feelings got hurt and plans were being made last minute...there was just a lack of communication. I started planning for Christmas in September, well actually August with gifts, but September with the events of Christmas Eve and Day. I didn't want there to be any tears or sadness this time around. Scott and I decided to spend Christmas Eve together, just the two of us. Well, I ended up in the kitchen all day prepping for the next day while he was out doing last minute shopping. I had to be on call at the center on Christmas so I had to make everything ahead of time so if needed they could just pop everything in the oven for warming. We went to the candlelight service at our church on Christmas Eve and then went out to dinner. On our way to dinner we were talking about setting some Reasoner family traditions. I guess it would be easier to do that if we had kiddos, but it was fun to talk about. This was our third Christmas together since being married. I remember when us kids were little we used to get in our pj's and get all bundled up and drive around and look at Christmas lights in December. When we got home from dinner, Scott helped me make caramel corn, that is at least one tradition we have every holiday. By then it was close to midnight, but we decided to exchange our gifts. That could be a fun tradition to do at midnight each Christmas, but I can't imagine that would go over well with little ones. On Christmas morning we went to Scott's mom's house for a quick gift exchange and then on to his step sisters in Granbury. They live way out in the country with chickens. After lunch we headed back home to prepare our evening meal. Who really needs that much food in one day???

The menu for dinner last night consisted of:
  • Roasted Stuffed Chicken
  • Sweet Potato Casserole
  • Green Bean Casserole
  • Salad - which I x'd and the last minute....just too much
  • Pumpkin Pie
  • and....Raspberry Tea
I have made green beans before, but everything else was new. Thanks to the internet, I got recipes for exactly what I wanted to make. Sometimes searching in cookbooks gets me nowhere. It all turned out pretty well after several phone calls to Mom...which in turn got me teased by the brothers! :( I even made a centerpiece with candles. I could have used about two more feet of countertop space, a double oven, and some of my serving platters that are in storage. All in all it was a joyous occasion.

I hope you all had a very Merry Christmas!

Heidi sent me an email with some pictures of the kids. They are having a great times with Jacob's parents in Arkansas. Enjoy!








Tuesday, December 23, 2008

where did this guy come from?

All is well with the Reasoners!

The past two days have been so wonderful! I think that we are in anticipation of the new year and Christmas being in a couple of days. Scott has been helping me out so much. When I was sick he not only fended for himself, but helped me get better and did things around the house. He has been cleaning and running errands for me. I love it! As I write, he is shampooing the area rug in the living room that was passed onto us from his dad. His dad has dogs and the carpet doesn't smell that great. It looks nice and is a very classy rug, but stinks none the less. I was a bit worried yesterday when I came home last night at 9:00 to him cleaning the toilet. No worries, he is fine. I am not sure what got into him.

We had a candlelight dinner is sweats tonight. It was kind of a last minute decision. I made an awesome meal which my hubby said I outdid myself preparing. We were supposed to go to some friends for dinner with the Weisiger's, but I gave Marissa the flu (she said I didn't, but I did) so we are going to the Ellis' for dinner on Sunday night. I was kind of glad it got changed due to all the things I had to get done today. That included, last minute Christmas shopping for some unexpected people, straightening clutter from our big switcharoo that happened yesterday. We finally switched massage and bedroom back and love it. I will post some pics, but I got cords every which place in the house. I visited with a girl in the hospital today that had a ceserean yesterday. I took her some goodies and loved on her for a couple of hours. It is no fun to be in the hospital during the holidays. Thankfully she gets to leave tomorrow in time for dinner out with the rest of the girls that didn't get to go home for Christmas for one reason or another.

Tonight we are supposed to meet up with some friends for a late dinner. We, of course, won't eat, but they were on the receiving end of our Nutcracker tickets on Saturday night and wanted to do something for us in return. I am sure Scott may be hungry again.

Tomorrow we are looking forward to having a fun day of wrapping gifts, cooking and baking, and laying low....oh and drinking egg nog. We finally came across the non-artificial, no color added, kind that is sweetened with sugar and not HFCS. It is sooo ymmy!

We were just talking last night about how glad we are that we decided not to move. This house if just right for us right now and we finally feel like we are getting adjusted with being here for a while. It only took us three weeks to get to that point! :)

I hope you are all enjoying the season as much as we are. Merry Chrismas!

Sunday, December 21, 2008

tis the 'flu' season

Scott has the next week off from practice, so we are trying to take advantage of our time. We went to his dad's house on Friday afternoon after a bit of Christmas shopping. You see, his dad admittedly has an issue with buying things and trading out his decor quite often. It works out great for us because we have been able to furnish our home with his leftovers. I believe that we have purchased maybe two small items for our home. The rest have been given to us by friends and family. We are truly blessed. Our latest "garage shopping" experience, as we like to call it, landed us three area rugs, a coffee table, a new kitchen table and chairs, a side table, and a new shelving unit. I am not sure how we are going to configure all of these new items into our tiny house, but believe me, I will make it happen. Our bedroom and massage room are getting flipped in the very near future. The massage room now is bigger and has the door to the outside. I just don't need that much space in that room though and our bedroom is too small for the furniture. My plan was to do the flip yesterday....until I started puking.

It got me....the flu bug that is. I didn't get out of bed yesterday except to shower and of course.... Scott was a real trooper. I kept sending him for things for me. I was so achy and dizzy and had a fever. At one point I got up to take a shower and when I got out he had surprised me by setting up a little Christmas tree in the living room. It looks like we will be having Christmas after all. The worst part about it all was that Scott's dad had given us GREAT ticket to see the Nutcracker at Bass Hall and we had to give our tickets away to friends. I have been waiting to see that ballet for three years. Maybe next year.

Anyway, it is interesting that just recently the conversation came up in another blog of what you will never eat again because you saw it again...you know. Well unfortunately, Friday night was a girls night out for Marissa's birthday. We went to P.F. Chang's downtown. At this point, I never want to eat there again which is a real bummer. I love that place. We had a good time downtown and then we went to our friend Katie's house to play games. There were only four of us left by then. We had a good time and I got home about midnight. That is late for us and especially the moms of the group.

Here are a few pics our night out. I am unintentionally hiding the b-day girl in this picture. It is so much fun to go out with the girls. They all have kids and great husbands that stay home with the kids on nights like this.

There is the birthday girl!

Sister-in-law, Trish and sisters Rebekah and Elizabeth

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

the verdict is in

So, I believe I have to keep the most meaningful dresses and pass the rest on. Thanks for the input everyone.

My husband is one of the cheapest people I know. That isn't always a bad thing. He keeps things until they are absolutely broken or unusable. For instance...his cell phone. He got it when he got his very first cell phone plan in the fall of 2005. He uses about 75 minutes a month so, as you can see, it doesn't get used that often. When the screen started to go out on it about a month ago, he thought it would be a good idea to get a new one. Today was "the day" for a new phone. He was, of course, eligible for a $150 upgrade. As it turns out, my two and a half year old phone was also eligible for an upgrade! Yippee! So we payed for new phones and sent out the rebate for the entire purchase and essentially got free phones today. And, as you all know, I love free things. All we paid was tax...$8 or so. Then we spent the rest of the afternoon trying to figure out how they work and setting all the features. I bet Daniel or Nathan could have figured it out in half the time it took us, but for some reason we are a bit technologically impaired.

Shopping is stress relief for me much to my husband's dismay. I have been known to spend half a day shopping just to take everything back the very next day. Today I spent two hours at the mall Christmas shopping and left with two gifts..... for other people. I didn't have much of a plan when I got there, but believe it or not, I was a little less stressed when leaving. The mall wasn't a mad house today, thankfully. Now, only two more gifts to go! Happy Holidays :)

What is stressing me? Thanks for asking. This is a science lesson. If you read up on the chances of getting pregnant after losing a fallopian tube to an ectopic pregnancy, it is considerably decreased. I guess 50%....but, this isn't what I was told after surgery. I still have two ovaries, just one tube. Did you know that you can ovulate up to three times in a row on one side alone? I think this is all very fascinating. I have a new appreciation and empathetic feeling for women who struggle with infertility. The Holthus woman has always been very fertile though. I was not surprised that I got pregnant the very first try this summer. But, one less tube decreases fertility. I pray for patience and, of course, fertility....what else can I do? It is what it is and will happen when the timing is right.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

old stuff

My mom called me this morning. She is cleaning out closets and wants to know what to do with all of our formal dresses. I do not fit into them anymore and would probably never wear them again, but I made all of my prom dresses and the thought of giving them away is uneasy. Hours of designing, sewing, ripping. and resewing went into these three dresses. She wants to donate them to a good cause - a store that provides young girls with dresses for formals that cannot afford them. I also have several bridesmaids dresses too. Why do I all of a sudden feel like the girl from the movie 27 Dresses? You feel crumby for thinking about keeping something you will surely never wear again. I mean seriously, the 90's are so over....I guess they could come back. But, the memories of them are fun. I can picture having a little girl or Joely playing dress up in them one day. But that isn't really a great cause. I guess that is what pictures are for. The right thing to do is donate them and never look back...as my husband would say.

I have a cookie party for work today. We are all getting together at my boss's house. I think that it will be a lot of fun. I made cookies last night when I got home from Lamaze class at 10:00.

I will be glad when Lamaze is over. I will be anxious to take the Bradley classes when I actually am pregnant. Lamaze is for doula certification. It was the fastest, easiest way to get childbirth classes out of the way. You can't be pregnant to get the class for the certification. Bradley classes last 12 weeks, Lamaze lasts 4. I did the math on that one. Last night we toured Harris Methodist downtown. It is a nice hospital and they are redoing the labor and delivery floors. I just can't picture having a baby in hospital myself, but 99% of women do it.

My husband just got home from work and said "what is for lunch?" I need to grocery shop, but until then I'd better rummage something up.

Hugs....stay warm!

Saturday, December 13, 2008

imagination station

Last night I called Andrew to wish him a happy birthday. He told me all about his day and the party they were going to have today with all of his friends. He was very excited in telling me about his chocolate dinosaur cake and how it was going to come alive and get all the bad guys. Kids are so funny.

And....
Several billboards scattered throughout Fort Worth read:
Vaccines are like hugs,
You don't want to miss one.

Seriously???? Don't get me started!!!!

Note to self: Don't drink coffee in the afternoon....even if it is free.

Friday, December 12, 2008

free stuff rocks!!

This week I got card in mail for $25 off a $25 purchase at Office Depot. I got a much needed 2009 planner today. I am a planner myself, but more importantly I have things going in 2009 that I need something to get them down on, births, reunions, travels, etc. Then I got an email with $15 off a $15 purchase with which I went Christmas shopping with. That is one less person on my list now. And, I have a coupon to use for a free cup of coffee at Barnes and Noble. I think that I shall enjoy that tomorrow morning.

Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday dear Andrew, Happy Birthday to you! We love him and miss him so much. I can't believe he is getting so big.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

it's ch-ch-chilly

Um, burrrrr......very cold in my non-insulated 1940's home today! Frost bite has set in.....

I broke down and purchased a "bundle" from Charter that provides us with internet, home phone, and cable sevices. Previously, we just had the internet and now we only pay $17 more to have all three. But, I can already see this is going to be a problem because I could sit in front of the t.v. for hours and not even know how long it has been. I don't even watch t.v. that much. Seems like when it is available I have to watch. You see, for the last year we have had bunny ears. ABC came in the best. The other channels were pretty fuzzy. Scott had to rearrage the antanea each time we changed stations. So, we got used to shows on certain stations because we were too lazy to get up every hour. With the new t.v. changes happening in February, we decided to go ahead and get it now. So today as I was lying on the couch being sickly, I decided to catch up on A Baby Story which I hadn't seen in over a year. Wow, is all I can say. One girl said "C-Section is the only way to go". Seriously??!? Her baby ended up in the NICU for eleven days with fluid in his lungs from not being birthed vaginally. Apparently the vaginal birth would have forced fluid out of the lungs. Can you imagine the bonding that was lost between mother and baby? Ok, I will get off my soap box. But, as a doula, this is good to know. The previous show was a delivery in NYC. Pretty standard, medicated hospital birth. Funny thing was that later this afternoon Scott and I watched a movie I had ordered called The Business of Being Born. One of the doctors that was at the NYC birth on The Baby Story today was on that movie. Great movie by the way. Rent it if you are going to ever have kids someday.

Last night I was catching up with Nathan online. Somehow, now sure how, the subject of nursing/breastfeeding came up. He was actually interested which I thought pretty cool since most teens, especially boys, would want anything to do with that kind of conversation. I think it is really cool to have younger brothers that I can be an influence on for their future. Someday he will get married and have kids and hopefully have a lot more understanding for things like that than most guys. I told him I would love to chat with his wife someday when it comes to that. Seems so far away. Thank goodness he has two older sisters to keep him in check. ;)

It saddens my heart, but I think that my days of being a massage therapist are becoming very limited. Last year in December I started developing wrist pain in my left wrist. It has continually gotten worse and now my right one bothers me. The kind of deep work that I do will not allow me to continue. I have had to cancel several appointments in the past few weeks. I looks like I may need to limit myself to prenatal massage which is not as taxing on my joints. Just need prayer please. This has really gotten me very down. It was my main source of income and has really kept us afloat since being married.

I have been fortunate to have picked up some doula business and hope to pursue it seriously in the coming year as I finish my certification. I have been networking and making connections in addition to putting together some marketing tools and reading all I can. The most difficult thing I struggle with is not have the birth experience of my own. I cannot relate to the pain, nor can I fully understand the true nature of breastfeeding. Part of me knows that I really can help women and part of me is wondering what in the world have I gotten myself into? But, soon enough I will have all that.

Thanks for listening to me this evening. My heart feels like it is wide open and I just put it all out there. Thanks for your prayers. Love and Hugs to all! :)

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

we are scrooges

Scott and I are officially bahumbugs this year. I think that we have decided not to decorate for Christmas. I am a little sad about this. In 2006 we decorated for our first Christmas. In 2007 we had Andrew to help us decorate the tree. It is so much fun to decorate with kids around. This year all of our decorations are in a storage shed across town. By the time we really realized we weren't going to be moving at Christmas we just thought that it would be too much of a hastle. I can't believe I am saying this since I love Christmas and love decorating for Christmas. I did put up a brick snowman that I made in 4th grade. That was because my mom sent it back with me after Thanksgiving. I have been listening to Christmas music 24/7 to at least be in the spirit of the season. So, next year we will definitely decorate for Christmas. We will have a better plan going.

Monday, December 8, 2008

I heart my niece and nephew!

Jenae's blog is a must see! She was in Arkansas this weekend with Heidi and Jacob on a Christmas shopping extravaganza!

Friday, December 5, 2008

back at it

It is a new day...yesterday was not a happy day and we were a bit glum. But, today we started over with a fresh attitude and will press on. We will not let this house thing get us down. Bigger and better things are in store for us!

I took my gym membership off freeze this week. I thought that I should get back into it after four months off. Truth is, I could have started working out a lot sooner after surgery than now, I was just being a slacker. So, I am back into my routine. I work out at LA Fitness. There are two in Fort Worth. This morning I decided to check out the one that Scott works at. It is much nicer than the one I go to that is closer to our house. It is very convenient for him since he can work out at work. His membership is free! Unfortunately, mine is not. But, it has gotten a bit too freezing to work out outside so I am back in the gym.

When we lived in Arkansas and I worked at a gym doing massage, it was easy for me to work out. I was working out 3-5 times a week. And, on top of that, the studio Heidi works at was right next door and I was taking private Pilates once a week. Needless to say, I lost 15 pounds during our six month stay in Arkansas! Well, nine of them have come back so I have a bit of work to do. Something about Texas makes me accumulate the pounds. I have one of those body types (Scott could tell you what it is) that tends to gain and lose really easily. The gaining parteasy...losing is takes real work. :)


The only other thing I do is drink a protein shake....or smoothie. I have tried all kinds, but find the pea protein to be my favorite. It is vanilla and I add blueberries, strawberries, half a banana, rice milk and a handful of raw spinach to it. YUMMY! I have Andrew hooked in it. He used to always like to share my shake when I made it when he was around. That was when I used to drink chocolate flavor.

Tonight is popcorn and a movie night. Scott is going to Nachadoches (sp?) tomorrow (5 hours away) for a game so we are having togetherness time tonight. We still haven't gotten our Christmas decorations up. I wasn't going to put any out this year if we were going to be moving, so we will have to go over to our shed to get them out and put them up. I love decorating for Christmas, I just am not really in the decorating mood. Maybe this weekend we can find time. Maybe...?? Yesterday I went on a cleaning rampage. I have spent the last six months mentally preparing to move so I would say to myself "I can live with that until we move." I rearranged and thoroughly cleaned the bookshelf in the kitchen. I rearraged a closet and started on another. This house has very, very and I mean very limited space. I have about three feet of workable kitchen countertop space and three less closet than I would like. Not having a garage doesn't help because I end up storing things like paint and tools in the house that would rather belong outside. We do have a shed full of lawn equipment...thank goodness for it. Anyway, we have three closets for housing clothes that one day in the coming weeks I am going to totally redo. I am not sure what we would do if we added another person to this house....hmmm. I wish I had a little bit of money to have a professional come over and do organizing for me. It isn't that I can't do it, I just need bins and baskets and shelves and whatnot.

Ok, I just realized that I am rambling. Everyone stay warm and cozy! Hugs to you!

Thursday, December 4, 2008

what makes it perfect

I am not writing this to get any symphathy, so nobody needs to feel bad, ok?

This year had been an especially rough one though. In our efforts to create the "perfect" little life, we have had more difficult things happen. At the end of last year Scott lost his job so we moved in February. I am grateful, because we do love Fort Worth and our life here, but moving (again) was hard. Then we lost a baby in August....and now....it's a no go on the house. I know this year has been tough for a lot of people with the economy and people loosing their homes and jobs. I feel very blessed to have a roof over our heads, even if it means staying in the house we live in. I know that there are so many better things out there. I feel like I am always having to learn life the hard way though.

All of this just gets me thinking. In my head I think that life is a progression of having the perfect job, getting married, buying and house and starting a family. Why is it exactly, that I think it HAS to be this way? I am definitely limiting myself. Ok, I am going to stop this crazy venting blog, but I just had to write it out.

2009, watch out for the Reasoners!!!

Monday, December 1, 2008

saving the house

So, the house, oh the house. Long story short, we are having to draw up another contract on the house because it appraises for less then our original offer. Thank goodness they are allowing us to do this. We really want the house, but hadn't done the "research" we should have on the front end and are having to back track. We haven't worked on it for several days as we wait to see if our new offer will be accepted. Much prayer would be appreciated. I am really okay if it ends up that we don't get it, but I would really like to be a home owner. Scott, on the other hand, is a bit more upset. He has really put hours and hours of work and effort into the house and really does not want to lose it now.

He is sweeping the kitchen floor from all the sanding we have done. We have started and plan to sand every piece of woodwork in the house. It is a lot of work, but will pay off. The old paint was just chipping away and wasn't prepped well when painted this past time. I have the oh so wonderful job of taking off the 1/4 round that needs replaced and sanding the baseboards. As you can see, I am thoroughly enjoying this job! NOT! Listen to the lame excuse my husband has for not getting on his hands and knees..."I'm too tall". Oh please...well I am glad to do it really, it is just so tedious. I guess I can give him a break, he did sand the entire kitchen for hours while I was gone to Arkansas for a weeklong training. But sanding is one of those thankless jobs that has to be done. I will look very classy when all done though. We still haven't turned the gas on because we don't know whether it is a go still. So, it is freezing in the house and we have to bundle up. We stopped and got a coffee to share on the way over.


Thanksgiving in Kansas

I headed out of town on Tuesday night. Scott's team was playing in Moore, OK against Hillsdale Baptist. I was hoping to catch the game, but seeing as how it took me over an hour to get out of Fort Worth because of traffic, I didn't' make it. I met up with my college friend, JoAnne, and stayed overnight with her in Norman. We stayed up late visiting and then woke up early to visit some more before I hit the road. It is fun to catch up about old times and things that are going on in our lives since we were college roommates nine years ago.

I woke up with a bit of a throat tickle and it progressively got worse as the weekend came. I am still fighting a bit of a runny nose and had to cancel two clients today which I hated to do. I didn't think they would enjoy sniffles during their relaxing massgage let alone being exposed to what I have. I was not the only one sick...my sister and Daniel and Joely were sick as well. Thankfully we could relax most of the time in Kansas. No Black Friday shopping for us. Heidi and I knitted and watched movies. Unfortunately, sweet baby Joely girl had a rough go at it on Friday and Saturday nights and didn't get a lot of sleep. My poor sis was exhausted. It is so hard to have a sick kid. I hope they are feeling better today.

I headed back yesterday afternoon. I left at 1:00 and got home close to 9:00. I only made two stops, but the traffic was crazy. The line for the toll south of Wichita was two miles long. OKC held me up as well. I was in 5 mph traffic for well over 30 minutes. But, I made it safe and sound. My hubby did well on his own while I was gone. My house was not a disaster and in fact it was better than how I left it!

So, we lined up to take a "Holthus" kid picture and look who snuck into the bottom right! Growing up we used to always take a picture in the spot. I think it started when Henry was about Andrew's age and there was only three of us.

Yes, we do claim this crazy bunch of guys. Andrew says it easier to wrestle with is shirt off....hmmm.

Andre turns three in a few days so we had a "breakfast party" for him before we all took of on Sunday. See his fingers. He got a soccer ball, a puzzle, race cars, stickers and Thomas books. He definitely hit the Jackpot!

Jacob and Andrew are wrestling with Drake.
Andrew: "Dad, come and play with Drake, he is such a good dog."

Poor baby girl was sick and fell asleep on Daddy while he made chili for us for supper on night. We had a feast of chili and turkey noodle soup.

Andrew: "Hannah, come and see what my dad killed while he was hunting."
Hannah: "Ew"
Andrew: "It's not gross!"
Oh the hunting stories this kid can tell. He will have fun with his dad later on when he is big enough to get out there. He already tells the most outrageous hunting stories like he was actually there. In his story, he has a four wheeler and they hunt in the forest. They load the deer and turkey up on the end of it to take them home and eat them. This was the last hunting day with one rabbit and two pheasants. We had duck poppers one night for dinner after a day of duck hunting. My first taste of duck, not too bad. They had a couple that got eaten by Drake before they made it home safely. Drake apparently likes to eat their heads off. Now that is really gross!

Papa with his two grandkids....just chillin'.

a birthday celebration

The weekend before Thanksgiving Scott and I headed to Odessa where Grandmother Hutson lives. She turned ninety on November 23rd and had a beautiful birthday celebration. Scott's mother, his aunt Barb, and uncle Stan were all there. She had a dinner at a local restaurant with several friends on Saturday evening. It was fun to hear of old times and stories of the family growing up. She is still living on her own and is very spunky. Can't wait to be at her 100th!


Scott with Grandmother.

Stan, Shirley, Barb and Grandmother.

The sisters...awww.

Scott with his uncle Stan. Two tall men!

Too bad this picture of us is so blurry, I kind of liked it.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Thanksgiving fun and sadness

I am so excited to get to leave for Kansas later today. I am working today and will leave about 5:00. Scott has a game in Moore, OK tonight which is next to Norman where my dear friend JoAnne lives. She is going to meet me at the game this evening and I am going to stay over at her house tonight. We can get all caught up and I will head to Mac in the morning. Unfortunately, my sweet hubby will have to stay in Fort Worth. College basketball takes presidence over family and holidays :(. Thankfully, he will be able to spend time with his mom and Jim and his family. I will get to stay until Sunday then. That will be nice to be able to spend a little bit more time witht the family. Scott is pretty sad that he doesn't get to come. He loves and I mean LOVES Andrew. He keeps a picture of he and Andrew on his nightstand from our visit to Arkansas in May. But this year, it is what it is for the holidays and we just have to make the best of it.

This past weekend we got to go to Odessa to spend time with Scott's relatives. His grandmother turned 90 years old on Sunday. She is still as perky as ever and very sweet. I have lots of pics, but will post later since I am at now. She had a little birthday gathering with some friends Saturday night and we all went to church together on Sunday morning. It was fun!

My blog on http://belliesinbloom.blogspot.com is fun today!

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving ya'll!~

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

our house???

I should so be in bed at 12:53am, but I just returned from the hospital where I was with one of the ladies from center. I has been a long day today. I had a couple of massages this afternoon. This morning was a bit emotional with house stuff. This house buying process is going so smooth that of course it was time for a snag. More on that later as it unfolds. Let's just say, I hope we will still be moving. If it isn't meant to happen then it just isn't meant to happen.

I am looking forward to the weekend. We are headed to Odessa. Scott's grandmother is turning 90 on Sunday and we are attending the celebration. It will be good to get away. She is a sweet little lady.

We have been so busy lately. Scott and I are still having opposite schedules. And, we both work weird hours where we are home off and on during the day, but not usually at the same time. I am looking forward to Thanksgiving too. A little bit of family time will be good. Our time will be limited, but that's ok, I guess. As long as I can see everyone for a bit. And, my precious niece and nephew....love them! Life just gets too stressful sometimes.

Jenae (Heidi's sister-in-law) came over to our house tonight for a massage. She lives about 20 minutes from us. I can show her pics of my niece and nephew and be so proud and she understands because she is their aunt too! We were discussing how unfair it is that Andrew is crazier about his uncles than his aunts...it isn't fair. It's Caleb this and Daniel that.

Ok, enough rambling, time for bed. Sorry my posts have been all about work and crazy house stuff. We don't have a lot more going on than that these days.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

a catch up blog

I am back! I am sure you have all been wondering.....

I have been indisposed for a while. Last week I was in Arkansas all week getting my birth and postpartum doula training. And, I have been a bit technologically impaired. It seems that a lot of my electronic devices have decided to go funky on me. If I unplug and plug them back in, they all of a sudden start to work. Well, my camera has been one of those mysteries. I finally have pictures to share after a while of none.

This picture is Scott and his dad helping to clear the bamboo stalks so we can take down the chain link fence and put a wooden fence in its place. Problem is, the bamboo has deep, deep roots and we have to rent a mini excavator in order to get that job done. So, it is on hold for the time being. We have moved inside to for now.



Thanks to the HUGE help of my parents and two of my brothers, we were able to have a work weekend the weekend of Halloween. My dad is helping us tear of the 1/4 round in this photo. Some of it is bad and needs replaced and some (like in this photo) need to be placed lower. There used to be carpet over the wood.

My parents spent a lot of time in our master bathroom. We had to clear it all out. The fixtures are fairly new, but we had to take them out in order to tear down the nasty wallpaper. We will paint the bathroom and put them back in eventually. Thankfully the house has two bathrooms, so we can move in without having this all done.

I painted trim in one of the three bedrooms. After I got done, we decided that we should to a more serious sanding job before paining anymore trip and woodwork. Before I painted this room I had to clean, sand, and wipe down the baseboards. It was a big job that took me about five hours and that was just one bedroom!

Do not try this at home, repeat, do not try this at home!! Ha ha! This is what happens when your 22 year old brother gets ahold of you! Thankfully we put his "mop" to good use at our new house.

This is what it looks like after the bamboo is all down. Too bad they had to spend one whole day figuring out that we weren't going to get a fence built. After much effort to no avail, the dirt was much to hard for an auger to drill holes for the fence posts. That will be a project for another working weekend I guess.
Thanks to JH and my wonderful hubby! They spent hours shortening the cupboard to go above the fridge so it will fit in. They are perfectionists to say the least! Thanks for the hard work fellas!

Marissa and I went to the hospital to visit our friends Cristina and Kevin who had a baby in October. Dylan is so precious!
The sweet little family.
And last but not least, my week long trip to Arkansas. I had class Monday - Friday from 8am-6pm so I didn't get to spend much time with this gang. Thank goodness we will see them at Thanksgiving. Andrew is hilarious! He was telling us all kinds of stories beginning with "once aponce a time". He was even talking in his sleep saying stories. Of course I had to stay in his room, which was ok until he developed a bit of a cold and was coughing all night long. He woke me up at a little after 6:00 one morning and said "wake up Hannah, the sun is out" to which I replied, just five more minutes please. He then said "Hannah get up, it's six dollars." See, even he was too tired still!
Lots more coming. We will be putting much effort toward the house this weekend. We have been sanding for days. I keep telling myself that sanding is good. We had to buy 44 knobs for the kitchen cabints which is good, it means STORAGE. Our kitchen right now including doors and drawers has 12 knobs...teeny tiny kitchen. Once we get all the sanding done, we can start paining again and it will feel like we are making some headway again. Scott wasn't to get all the sanding done and everything wiped down really well before we paint. I guess these things just take time. I will try and keep an update of pictures. It is fun to remodel!

Night everyone, thanks for patiently waiting for my blog. I am busy these day. Oh, there are babies being born too, but that will have to wait until another blog on another day!

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

a change of time

The doula segmant on The Today's Show will be on next Thursday. They apparently had a change of plans.

My doula training is wearing me out! It is fun though. I sure am learning a lot. I have decided to hold out on the Bradley class I was going to start taking next week. It is a twelve week class and I want to be done sooner than that. I am going to take Lamaze starting in December. It is only four weeks and I can take it and get it out of the way. It wasn't my first choice, but I have too much going on right now to make a commitment to Bradley time wise or monetarily. The lady at Harris Methodist will let me sit on on the Lamaze for free as long as I don't contribute to the class....ask questions at take up the time that is. It is really for pregnant couples anyway. They can't have a doula in training taking up the class time after all! :)

Scott's team had their fist game tonight. I haven't heard how they did yet. They play Oklahoma Christian on Saturday in OKC at OC's homecoming. I am going to go on my way home. I only have one friend that I really keep up with that I went to school there with. She went for only a year and I went for just two years. I seem to get mailings and calls for money still.

I am tired. I have to go to bed.

Monday, November 3, 2008

doulas are famous

On Thursday, November 6th at 8:05 a.m. (barring any post election coverage) there is going to be a segment on The Today's Show (NBC) about doulas and what we do! I thought that was a pretty cool thing and I hope you get to see it. I will not be able to watch it myself, but maybe I can get a taping of it.

Saturday, November 1, 2008

the house

My parents have been here since Thursday night and we have been working non-stop on the house. I have a lot of pictures, but my computer is acting up so I need to share them later. We got a lot of sanding and painting done. The guys started working on the wooden fence, but hit a snag with bamboo and the project has been put on hold. The guys reworked some kitchen shelving and cabinets for me. The fridge wasn't going to fit in the short space so they shortened the cabinet about the fridge. Mom and I cleaned the kitchen and some other rooms. They gutted the master bath and we are doing the walls over. The toilet and sink are fairly new so they will be good. We took all 44 drawers and doors off the kitchen cabinets. That is a lot more storage than the 14 cabinets we have now. There is a lot to do, but we have put a dent in it. We move in in one month and I am nervous how we are going to get it all done. I have to get packed up and moved, plus finish a lot of work before we can even move anything over. I will share the photos when I return next week.

I am leaving tomorrow for a week long doula training in Arkansas. I am going to stay with Heidi. I am pretty excited about it, but I haven't gotten all my reading done before my class. I will have to try and catch up throughout the week.

Have a good week! I will try and keep a better update during the week. I have been slacking a bit in my blog posting, sorry, just too busy!

my first video


I am just learning how to do videos, so I added this one to the blog. Heidi may not like all the pictures I selected, but it is a trial. :)

Sunday, October 26, 2008

babies, babies everywhere!

Hi guys and gals!

Hope you all had a wonderful weekend. Mine has been eventful so far. I have been in and out of the hospital all weekend. I am covering for weekend duty this weekend because one of the childbirth coordinators had a family emergency. I was at the hospital Friday night and Saturday with just one, but I am on call at 7pm-7am tonight and I have already been notified that we have four girls at the hospital none of which are due yet! One is getting induced because of medical complications, so there will be a baby soon, but the others aren't due until December or later. This is going to be an interesting evening. I have never had to divide my time at the hospital before. I got my running shoes on so I should be good.

Scott has been at the house today working on the bathroom. I will put some pictures up soon of our work in progress. My parents are coming next weekend to help out. Henry and Daniel are coming too, so that should be fun. I hope we can get a lot done while they are here. I was going to go and clean over there this afternoon, but when I found out that it was going to be a long night, I decided to get a nap in instead. I have some time during the week that I can pop in and out. I am going to get the electric turned on this week so that we can work over there at night. Next weekend daylight savings ends. It will be getting dark at 6:00 in the evening and that won't help us out.

I started a new blog in replace of my lifestylesfornaturalhealing. It is http://belliesinbloom.blogspot.com. I think I will be better at posting to it since it is a bit narrower subject ideas.

Gotta get some dinner before I get on the job! I'll keep you posted.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

needing a nap

I have missed a few days of blogging due to being extra busy. I have been subbing at Gladney a lot and Monday and Tuesday evening I had a prenatal class to sit in on with the ladies. Scott and I are having opposite schedules these days. He gets up and goes out the door by 5:30am most days and I leave around 8:30am on the days I have to be at the center. I am there until early afternoon while he is at practice and then when I get home he is off to work at the gym again in the evenings. We finally decided that Friday and Saturday nights are the best nights to see each other and plan things.

We are still waiting to hear on our house. If all goes like we hope, my parents will come down next weekend and help us do some work to it. I would like to get it all painted. I also would like to put a wood fence in the back yard instead of the chain link that is there.

I am leaving for Arkansas on November 2nd for my weeklong birth and postpartum doula training. I can't wait to see the kids! I won't have much time to spend with Heidi because my class is 8-6 every day.

I am ready for Thanksgiving! We get to go to Kansas. The Tuesday before Thanksgiving, Scott has a ball game in Moore, OK. I am going to the game and then we will head to KS from there. We won't get there until late in the evening, but we will be there until early Friday morning (I hope). Scott has a game the day after Thanksgiving at 7:30 in the evening. I hope that he won't have to be there early in the day on Friday. I sure don't want to eat a big meal and have to leave on a 7 hour journey back to TX.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

crazy neighbors!

Seriously, do you have to involve the whole neighborhood in your 2:00am party?! So, last night I was waken by loud Mexican music and people yelling. In light of the fact that I had to work today, this wasn't gonna fly. I called the police after listening to that for about 20 minutes. They showed up about 20 minutes after that I am guessing because the party broke up, the music got quieter and I fell back to sleep.

Yesterday we put a contract on a house! My dad is helping us with the details since we are purchasing it from our landlord and bypassing a realtor in town. We met about the purchase proposal and after deciding on a few changes, Dad drew up the contract. We will probably be hearing something this weekend. Once the contract is accepted, we will take possession. If all goes as planned, we close on Dec. 1st. This will give us time to do some work to it. It needs a hug. I went over yesterday to access all of the needs....paint, knobs, blinds, ect. We went to Lowe's last night to get an idea of the cost of certain items. It was a bit overwhelming. We could end up spending a fortune if we aren't careful! As of right now we are planning on painting for sure. I also want to replace the chain link fence with a wooden fence. While I was there I noticed that the backyard is a short cut for kids in the neighborhood...even with a fence there they just walk right through. I would feel safer if we had a wooden fence especially with kids in our future. I think that once we paint and get our things in there that it will feel like a whole new house. I am very excited about it. I have before pictures and of course we will take pictures of our progress and share.

Scott is working at LA Fitness now in addition to his coaching job. He has been there about 2 1/2 weeks now. He really likes it and has been getting a lot of clients. He is averaging about 4-5 clients a day. I am so proud of him. He is even calling the people that aren't showing up! That is huge for him because in the past he hasn't felt confident enough to do that.

Well my client is here so I gotta scoot!

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

plucking away

I started Chemistry last week and it is going well. I actually only have my final left to complete and I can turn in the class. What a relief! It actually hasn't been as horrible as I originally expected. Scott has been helping me with it tonight. Chapter five test was about chemistry as it relates to nutrition and he knows a lot about amino acids, vitamins, and all that jazz. As I was searching for an answer, he yanked my study guide and answered about four questions in 30 seconds...smarty pants! :) I just got my grade back for Elements of Holistic Nutrition.....an A!!! I officially have five A's and two B's in my studies. That is better than my high school and college days so I am happy.

I have house buying stuff to share, but that will have to wait for another post. Looks like we will be moving soon though. More later, I promise.

Love and Hugs Everyone!

Monday, October 13, 2008

what a night

Last night was eventful to say the least, one water breaking and one throwing up all night. I will tell you that it lead to a baby being born this morning at 9:00am and I was able to catch the last hour and a half of it after I was relieved of my HP duties this morning at about 7:30. I got about five hours of sleep last night. I am used to getting at least eight. Good practice for motherhood someday. ;)

I told Scott today that after being at two hospital births with women having epidurals, pain meds, continual fetal monitoring, no food or drink privileges, and cuts in places I wish I hadn't seen, I am totally on board to have a home birth myself. I had no idea how confined a hospital makes women feel. Of course, I have been dealing with teens who "just want the baby out" so I haven't gotten the experience of coaching a "natural birth" which I am very eager for. I have been talking to a lot of women lately. The second to last day I was at Veria I met a gal that was very much interested in having a doula at her birth someday. We bonded on the fact that we had both lost babies, me to an ectopic and her to a molar pregnancy. She is interested in natural health and was thinking about taking classes from Clayton College of Natual Health which is where I am getting my degree. She lives in Fort Worth so she would be close. I hope she gets pregnant someday. They have been trying for about 9 years. She has lost two babies. My heart ached for her.

In other fun news, my dad is helping Scott and I write a proposal for the house we are giong to purchase from our landlords...finally. I posted the pics of it back in July and then we have had so much on our plate since then, it has gotten put on hold. Now we are finally starting to get serious about it. I am going to meet with them on Wednesday to see if we can get something together for buying and moving soon. It would be fun to move before Christmas. It is looking like that will happen. I am going to have to beg my parents to come and help us clean and move in. We are proposing to buy it "as is" and it needs a tad bit of work to it, painting and such.

My 4:00 massage just called to reschedule. I am kind of glad, I need a nap, it was a long night. Time for some shut eye for a few minutes.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

stop honking at me!

I am a self proclaimed "grandma" driver. I'll admit it. I got honked at twice this past week. Once was because I was at a red checking my daily planner and didn't see it turn green and the other was on the way back from taking two pregnant ladies to get sonograms and again I was at a red and didn't see the light turn. For goodness sakes I had precious cargo, give me a break people!!!

So, I have been at the Gladney dorm for nearly twelve hours. I am the weekend house parent this weekend. I will go home tomorrow morning at 8:00am. Luckily, there are only about eight girls here this weekend instead of all 15 or so, so not a lot is going on. I made dinner for all eight, but only three of us ate so there were a lot of left overs. I should have made a frozen lasagna that was in the fridge and that would have been a lot easier on me. Instead I made baked chicken, brown rice, and broccoli. Some of these girls eat a lot of carbs like cereal and banana for breakfast with no protein. It worries me. Anyway, I fixed a plate for Scott since there was so much left over. He will come and pick it up later. He isn't allowed inside the dorm. The rules here are a lot like the rules I had at Oklahoma Christian....no boys allowed in the dorm, curfew with an alarm, that kind of thing. So pretty much I have just been hanging out all day. I had every intention of working on Chemistry but....

My last night at Veria was fairly uneventful last night. I am glad I am done there. I am ready for the next stage in my life. They got me cupcakes and a desert cookbook as a going away gift. I had to wait and read the card until I got home because I knew I might cry. I made some good friends there. I will stay in touch with then though. Plus, I like the food they make so I have to go back.

Hope you have a great week ya'll! I may have a birth to report about in the next couple of days. A lot of braxton hix in this place today. Night!

Friday, October 10, 2008

my other blog

I have decided to keep up with my professional blog a bit better. I have challenged myself to try and post every Monday. I revamped the format and added some fun side bar info to jazz it up. I hope it will be fun to read and fun to post on. I have so much to post to that blog and I just don't have the time. It requires more thought than this one :)

Check it out at http://lifestylesfornaturalhealing.blogspot.com

Thursday, October 9, 2008

birthing on my mind

Tuesday evening I went to the hospital with a one of the girls who was to be induced on Wednesday morning. She was a very sweet girl BTW! They were giving her meds to prepare her for the delivery so she was going to be staying the night at the hospital. I stayed with her for about 4 hours and her mom was going to be staying the night with her, so I was able to leave. I wasn't able to be at the birth yesterday because I had a training in Plano.

My training yesterday was a childbirth education class called Supporting the Teen During the Childbearing Year. Lots of great info and training tools to use when I begin teaching classes myself. We learned many laboring techniques as well as tools to use in classes to help teens, or anyone for that matter, to understand what to expect. So far I only work with young women that are putting up for adoption, but there is such a need for support for teens that are keeping their babies. It is a big life changing event!

Today I took one of the girls to GED class this morning. I had only met her one time. We had about a 15 minute drive so her class so we got to chat. I told her I think that it was a great thing that she was going to get her GED. She will have so many opportunities now. She is a very sweet girl. This afternoon I am taking two girls to get sonograms. Tonight I will stay the night at the center to get training on being a house parent. House parents stay at the dorm with the girls and help them with cooking, chores, etc. The HP calls the child birth coordinator (CBC) at any time girls need to go to the hospital. I am a CBC. Anyway, I am training to be an HP so I can substitute for this weekend. I will have to stay at the dorm overnight on Saturday until Sunday evening. I will know more about what an HP does after tonight.

I have a massage appointment in the morning (I think he'll be a regular), then onto Veria in the afternoon. Only Friday and Saturday and then I am done there.

Well, I better go. I have to pick the girl back up from her GED and then on to sonograms this afternoon. I will keep you updated.

Thanks again for reading my blog! I know, my life is crazy, but I am glad it interests you :).....

Monday, October 6, 2008

deep breaths

It is my last week at Veria! (big sigh) I am ready to move on to the next stage in my life. I start being on call this week at the adoption agency. Most of my training is complete. Tomorrow I go to the hospital with a girl who is getting induced on Wednesday. She will stay the night on Tuesday night. I will be there with her for the evening. I have to miss the birth on Wednesday because I am going to Plano for a Lamaze training and labor support for the teenager. That should be interesting.

Last night our LifeGroup went to see Fireproof....good movie. We all cried.

I am sleepy, but have to head to work. Catch up later folks! Have a great week.

Friday, October 3, 2008

my first delivery

Today I got to be at a birth for the first time. It was truly amazing. I coached her through the birth and got up close and personal. I had never seen a live birth in person until today. Wow! I think that I did pretty good. I stayed calm through it all. I even watched her get stitched and didn't squirm. This is what I am meant to do I know it and I love it!

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

what next?

First off, Scott got a personal training job at LA fitness today. We are so excited!! He has been searching for a month with countless applications and doors closing everywhere he looks. This position will be in addition to his basketball coaching schedule and the bootcamp and personal training he will do on the side. Yah!!!

I have kind of a neat story that may inspire some of you. I have been waiting for the right time to share and I think this is it. It is a long one so if you don't have a chunk of time, you may want to wait.

Last June I can recall sitting on our couch in our house in Fort Worth longing to move closer to my family in Arkansas. There were nights we would sit on the front porch or visit over dinner about "our" plans to move. The day finally came that we said to one another that we would consider it. We took a trip to Arkansas to visit gyms and look for jobs. Heidi had clients that she had lined up for me to work with when I got there. The gym I would work from was right next door to the Pilates studio she works at. Scott ended up visiting with the owner of the gym and getting a personal training position there as well. That position was going to be based on commission, but we were up for it and really wanted to make the move. The rental house fell into place and it seemed as though we would have steady work when we arrived. We got home from that trip and started planning our move. We moved to Arkansas on our first anniversary in August.

We really enjoyed being in Arkansas near Heidi and her family. We lived about 5 blocks from them. Andrew became our best friend. We loved watching him on the days and nights that Heidi and Jacob worked. Scott and I formed a bond with the little guy. To this day when Andrew calls and leaves messages for me on my phone, Scott gets a little teary. We love that kid. But, as it turned out, Scott's position as a trainer at the gym wasn't bringing him the clients he had hoped for. He applied for a job at another gym that paid hourly and we finally felt as though we were making some headway. That was around the first part of September of last year.

On Sunday September 30, 2007 Scott and I were at church. During the worship part of the service a lady came from across the room over to me a Scott. Scott was standing at the end of the pew and I was next to him. She motioned for me and Scott let her by. I didn't know this woman and hadn't seen her before. She told me that she felt God speaking to her to come to me. She spoke a prophetic word to me and told me that I should be ready and that something big was about to happen in my life. I wasn't quite sure what to say, but as she walked away I quickly scribbled down those words in my journal that I take with me to church. Of course in the days to come I was seeking out what that would be. Would I get some amazing job? Would I have a baby? Would Scott get an incredible job offer? What would it be? I know that God was preparing my heart for something and I didn't know what. It wouldn't be until December 11th that I would find out what that would be. That was the day Scott was laid off from his job. This was the job that had been promising more hours to him after the new year, the job that "was never going away" or so we thought. Ha! Ok God, that wasn't what I was thinking was about to happen. That was a hard day for me, a hard day for us. As we tried to figure out our next steps, Christmas was approaching. We knew we wouldn't be able to make it long without a job for Scott. We were desparate and praying and searching. It came down to getting in touch with his old boss at The Vitamin Shoppe in Fort Worth to see if there was anything available. It turns out that the week prior, the assistant manager had left The Vitamin Shoppe and he was seeking a new manager. Scott decided to interview after Christmas. What did we have to lose at this point? Well, as you know, the story ends in Scott getting the job and us moving back to Texas after our sixth month stay in Arkansas. And, back into the same house we had moved out of when we moved to Arkansas. What a blessing! And we got a break on rent for painting. (The house story is another cool story that I will save for another day.) I am so glad we had that time in Arkansas because it made us closer to Heidi and her family and we formed a wonderful bond with Andrew. Well, I cried and cried and cried when we left and moved back. So much crying that Scott wasn't sure what he was going to do, he felt helpless. I had a hard time getting out of bed for about three weeks after being back. I was so depressed. Scott was working his new job and really enjoying it. I finally realized that I had to suck it up and get on with it. My life was going to go on and it was going to go on in Texas.

I got in touch with my old massage clients and got a few back, but it just wasn't as easy as it had been. In March I began searching for a stable job. We needed some income to pay our bills. We had acquired some debt with our moves and I knew what I had to do. I searched and sent resumes and just was not getting anywhere. Door after door was closing on me. Finally after three months of searching for a job, I found Veria. It was a natural wellness center (perfect), with a yoga studio (perfect), a spa (even more perfect), and a natural cafe (what more could I ask for?). It was a retail position, but come to find out, it provided insurance benefits and paid well. I was glad to have a steady job and thought benefits "would be nice" since we hadn't had any since being married. We weren't going to use them, but, you know, just in case. It didn't take long for me to realize that I was a bit uncomfortable working for someone again. I was used to having my own business with my own hours and no micromanaging. Again, I started searching and again doors were closing. I wasn't very happy and it had only been about three or four weeks. One day I noticed that I didn't really feel like the job was so bad and I put my job seeking on hold. Around this time we were blessed with a car that was given to us upon Scott's memaw passing and were able to sell Scott's car in one, yes one, day. We used that money to pay off two credit cards. I had also been working enough to pay our third credit card and our income taxes off. We were in a great place! We were starting to get ahead. This was about mid July. We had always talked that if A,B, and C happened that it would be the time to start a family. Well, A,B, and C happened. So, we decided it would be the time. Some of you know that we practice the Fertility Awareness Method of birth control (sorry if that is TMI) it is pertinant to the story. So, having said that, I am very aware of my body and keep mental charts in my head. I didn't know if I would be able to get pregnant right away. My parents tried for years, my sister...well, we love Andrew :) So, I just wasn't sure. Well, low and behold, I can get pregnant and on the first try at that. So, as you all know, I lost that pregnancy, but here is where my story comes full circle....I had health insurance!!!!! Praise God, I didn't have $25,000 of medical bills to pay on my own. I firmly believe that God directed that entire plan for me to be at Veria. I was meant to have carried and lost a baby to get me to the next phase in my life. Now, in a week and a half I will close the door to the Veria phase in my life. It was a blessing, but I have my passion to follow. In the days leading up to the surgery, I had been talking to my mother about becoming a doula (childbirthing coach). In the past I had contimplated the idea, but it just never seemed to be the right time. Well, it gets better.

So, of course I lost the baby and it became immediately apparent that I was to become a doula. About two weeks after surgery I had done all the research on the routes to take to become certified. As of today, I am right on track to getting trained and certified. But, I need to back up. In the meantime I was visiting with my friend Marissa about volunteer opportunities. I have really been feeling the tug to work with women. Marissa told me about The Gladney Center for Adoption. She was a volunteer there before her precious baby girl was born. I got onto the website to search for volunteer positions and came upon a paid position as a Childbirth Coordinator. As I read the job description I was in awe. I could see the path that had lead me to that very moment. That Saturday night I got home from work and submitted my resume. Well, two weeks later, now, I have started the training. And the story is still unfolding.

I have one more bit to the story and then I will close for tonight. I have to begin by tellling you what my goals and dreams for the future were before I got married. I wanted to be just like my mother, I don't really have to say more than that for people who know my mom. But, if you don't know her, she is amazing and you are missing out. She stayed at home while I was growing up. I was used to having her around and loved the idea of being a mom that is there for my children at all times. I had the idea that I would be just like that. I have had the opportunites to marry guys who ended up becoming doctors, engineers, pilots, you know....My life would probably be very different if I had married one of them. Well, it hasn't turned out that way. My husband was in school when we got married and at thirty years old, is just now coming into his career. It is a lot different than what I had dreamed of as a younger girl. But, this is what makes the story so cool. I have known for a while now that I will not be the stay at home wife and mother. That dream has been divinely changed for me and I am so grateful. Had I married someone who would had been able to provide for me financially from the get go, I do not believe that I would be able to come into the women I was meant to be. Or, I may have, only God knows that one. But, the discoveries I have had about myself and about my life are so awesome. I want to share about this past weekend when I was at the ladies retreat. Again, I received another prophetic word spoken to me. It was, again, from a women in the church that I don't know. She spoke to me that I am an impowered woman and that I am to use that power to help other women. After the session that morning she prayed with me. She doesn't know anything about me, but her prayer was that I was going to use these hands to help other women. WOW! Ok, God, I hear you. At that moment I knew that I have a big mission to fulfill. My ears and eyes are wide open and my heart is ready for whatever comes this way. God has always provided for us in the past. I have come to realize that my children will be taken care of when the time comes. I cannot become anxious or worried about that when I am not even close to needing to find childcare! :)

So, the last year has been a growing time and a listening time. And, to come full circle, I think I would cry and cry and cry if we left Fort Worth! Thank you Lord for my friends, church, clients, jobs, husband and everything else that has come our way. We are so blessed.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

oh ya, I have a blog

I almost forgot that I have a blog to keep up with. I have been super busy since last Thursday so I have finally gotten the chance to sit and blog.

The women's retreat last weekend was amazing and I came away with so much! I left work on Friday and went straight there. We had a great evening speaker and than fun games, stayed up until 3:30am talking, got up at 8:00am, had a great speaker Saturday, left from retreat to go back to work at 4:00pm Saturday and back home that evening at 10:00pm. When I got up for church on Sunday morning it felt like I had slept for five minutes. I haven't yet caught up on sleep.

Today was my first day at the adoption agency. I did training this afternoon and met with the girls. I am not sure if I clarified that this is a place where young women come and live in a dorm style situation. They give birth at hospitals across the street. All of these girls are adopting out their children. It was so great to see what all I will be doing. So much to learn. There are about five girls due in October, so I will have a lot of opportunities to attend births as part of my training. I will not be able to be at births unattended until I have finished my training. I have online training as well as two to three assisted births to attend. I have completed my drug screening and rubella test,. That rubella test (a blood draw) gave me a huge bruise on my arm. I think the gal hit a vein or something. Today I went in for my TB test. I will have in read on Thursday. I feel like I have been in dr.'s offices more lately than I have been in my entire life. So many pokes and sticks. I am over it already!

I have put in my resignation at my job in Arlington. I just feel as though it is time to move on to where my passion really is, massage and helping and serving women!

Scott has decided to start a fitness boot camp so I have been working on a blog for him (http://getfitwithscott.blogspot.com). He's not much into the computer/blogging part of it. We are praying he will have a good response with clients. He is looking forward to starting it.

So much more to write, but I can't see with my eyes shut. Nighty night ya'll! More to come soon.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

more coffee please

Hi Blog Family!
I have missed you this week. It has been a very busy week with lots going on. To tell you the truth, I am exhausted! I was off work today and so I went to Marissa's for brunch. She made a very delicious quiche and we chatted for several hours. We are rooming together at the Ladies Retreat this weekend. Should be lots of fun!

Yesterday I signed papers at the adoption agency. I have much training to do before working with the girls. I have to pass my drug test (no worries there) and take an eight hour online training. I will also be doing a lot of on the job training before I can actually interact with the girls and be accompanied by another childbirth coordinator for several births before I am allowed to go alone. So much to learn, but very exciting!

I have done four massages this week. Whew! Need I say more. Just trying to get back into the swing of things since surgery. Still a little tender, but I am feeling great. I feel like my hormones are all balanced back out....thank goodness, I was getting a little scared of myself. Scott says I only have a few more days to play the "I just had surgery and I am a delicate flower" card. I have been pulling that one quite a bit lately. ;)

I must go to sleep people. I will give you more of an update in a few days.

Monday, September 22, 2008

it's fall!

Happy Monday!

It is such a beautiful day outside and I haven't left the house today to be able to enjoy it yet. I just completed my class Elements of Holistic Nutrition this afternoon. That was a relief. I have to go to Wal-Mart later to get a new ink cartridge to print out my paper so I can send my tests and papers in for grading.

This morning I cleaned out one of our bedroom closets. I took a picture, but the change wasn't that dramatic, so I decided it wasn't worth sharing today. It has been a little out of control since we moved in. We have two closets in our bedroom. Scott uses one and the other is some of his things and then a bunch of junk. I rearranged did a little switcharooing of some things and now we can find everything a lot easier. I think that I will try and tackle my closet sometime. It is hard for me to get motivated to want to organize when there is a possibility of us moving to a new house in the next few months. Still no word on that so we are waiting. They haven't gotten a lot done in the past month because of the hurricane. The guy that was doing work to the house had to go down to help out some family in south Texas. I am hoping they can get in appraised in the next week or two so we can know if it is a go or not. We aren't in a huge rush though.

Well, I have been fighting a little nap today, but I think I may give into it. It was a long weekend and I didn't get a lot of rest. Busy Sunday, with church and LifeGroup last night. I made turkey chili and there were four couples there. We are hoping for more, but last night was the first night so we will see. I have a busy week ahead as well....working at Veria, signing paperwork at the adoption center on Wednesday (hope to start work next week), 4 massages this week, and a women's retreat this weekend. Ok, I've convinced myself, a little snooze it is!!

Have a great week ya'll!!

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Holthus women are amazing!

Thanks to all of you who have shared your thoughts with me this week. I needed that! I had a couple of rough days feeling like I was in a "hole" that I wasn't sure how to get out of. It is like that saying in the movie "Catch Me If You Can" about the two little mice that fell into the pitcher of cream. One mouse just gave up and thought he was never going to get out and drown. The other mouse tried and tried so hard to get out that he churned that cream right into butter and climbed out. Well, that is what I intend to do! I have my life to be thankful for and I am truly grateful. I could be on the other end of it and not be here today. I guess any amount of bills can't compare to what my life is worth. My friend Katie and I were discussing this week that if the Lord brings you to it, He will bring you through it. Amen sister!!!

Yesterday I worked at the spa in Aledo. I did two 90 minute massages and held up pretty well. I haven't done any massages since August 13th. I think that may be the longest I have ever gone. I love it out there. Susan, the owner, and I get along great and I have such wonderful clients. They are so good to me.

Heidi called me last night at 10:45 to tell me she and a friend had gone to a play called "Birth". She wished I could have seen it. It was about the birth stories of eight different women. I am so happy that she got out of the house for a few hours. It was much needed and deserved. She says Joely will take a bottle now, so she pumps and lets Jacob feed her so she can go on outings and eventually she will go back to work in November.

Today is a glorious day....so sunny outside!!! I got up early and enjoyed a walk to get breakfast at Einstein's near TCU. I studied a bit there and then came home to work a bit on the last of my essay questions. I have nine questions to go before I am officially finished with Elements of Holistic Nutrition. Then on to Chemistry. Will that be fun or what?!!?!?

I am looking forward to Sunday. Our Lifegroup at church starts again. When Scott and I were first married we went to this Lifegroup. It is for young marrieds. Out of the six couples that started, we are the only ones without kids yet. But, it is fun. We are doing a Gary Chapman series and it will be two Sunday nights a month. I am hoping we will get some new faces this time. The church we go to has a lot of young couples.

So happy that my mom did well on her exam this week. She left me a comment on my previous post that you all should read. I talked to her on Thursday morning before her test. I had originally thought her test was just today (Saturday), but it started on Thursday so my good luck and many blessing card was going to be late. She proceeded to tell me that Heidi sent her a care package!!!! How sweet was that? When Heidi called last night, I gave her a little talkin' to though. She showed me up ;). How can she have a six week old baby and still have time to send my mother a care package with homemade brownies, mints, etc. I am sure she probably sent a scarf she had knitted or a quilt she had hand sewn too! I had just gotten done telling Heidi earlier that week that I can't believe how wonderful of a mother she is. She seems like she can spin plates and juggle while helping Andrew color a picture and change a diaper all at the same time. She is truly amazing. She is the calmer of the two of us. I hope I can be as poised as she is as a mother someday.

I don't have recent pictures of anything. I will be going to Arkansas the first week in November for my doula workshop and you can count on lots of photos from that trip. I was talking to Heidi on the phone the other day and I told her to tell Andrew hi, so she did. He said, "I do not want to say hi to Hannah." That little stinker. I know in my heart that kid loves me! That is all that matters, right? I miss Joely too. Heidi sent me pictures last week and she is growing so big!

Well, fellow bloggies, I sure am happy you stopped by today. Thanks for reading my thoughts. Have a superb weekend!

P.S. For those of you inquiring about the $52 blanket, um ya, it stayed at the hospital. :(

Thursday, September 18, 2008

my momma!

I am so proud of my momma! She has been working so hard studying her acupuncture and took a big test today! She is truly amazing and I LOVE HER!!!

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

a little prayer needed this way

Thanks to all of my many friends and family who have been so supportive of all of my endeavors, including my latest and most exciting new challenge as a birth coordinator. I will be working at this position two days a week from 7am to 7pm on an on call basis. I will also be working at my other job in Arlington part time as well as keeping up a few massages as I can. I know this sounds like a lot, but it is worth it to me right now.

When my doula certification is complete (hopefully in the next six months) I would like to work as a doula and massage therapist. What I would really like to do is have my own center one day. My idea is to have a place that women can get counsel on nutrition, yoga, breastfeeding, massage and more before, during, and after pregnancy. I would like to have classes and "meetings" for expectant mom's to come and share with each other and learn new things. I have lots of ideas so we will see what the future holds. I have always wanted to have my own place to do massage and nutrition, now I just have a particular market in mind. The best part is, there will always be babies to be had.

I have something heavy on my heart tonight that I would really like prayer for. Today I received a second medical bill in the mail from my surgery. There will be more coming. (By the way, it is unreal what they can charge you for! I asked for a blanket in the waiting room of the ER since we only had a THREE hour wait, $52 ..... unbelievable!) I know that there is a reason for all we are going through. I am saddened, though, because we had just gotten most of our debt paid off this past summer. That was about the time we thought it was the time to have a baby. And, now, as you can see, no baby and we are even more in debt than we were in the first place. This is a lot more than I would normally share, but it is just that I am believing that there is a plan in store for us and I am praying to be able to have the wisdom and the faith to see the bigger picture. I just need a hug from someone who has "been there, done that" and has made it through. I am having a hard time understanding and I want to ask my infamous question "why" about all of this, but I already know "why". I have cried out, relied on, and prayed to God many times about this and He has given me peace beyond my own understanding. I am trying to allow myself to have the patience to watch it play out now. That is the hardest part!!

Time for bed now. Night night. Thanks for reading today.

a new beginning

Ok, I may have stepped on a few toes with my previous post. I haven't birthed, so I don't really have a lot of room have a strong viewpoint on natural childbirth. But, just wait, I will one day. :) I guess for now, I should ask "why" to myself. I am just curious and really want to dig into the minds of women to find out their feelings on their experience and how they chose to do it the way they did. I think that mostly I feel as though women have been robbed of choices. It seems as though they are instructed to do it one way or another and that is all they know. And, if they have had a positive experience in childbirth it is more difficult to question "why". Anyway, my sincerest apologies for anyone who thinks "that crazy girl has no clue." ;) I have always considered myself open minded. I guess open minded doesn't mean that my mind is only open to hear what I want to hear or believe. I will allow to embrace all aspects of childbirth.

I am very excited to announce that I have taken a part time position as a childbirth coordinator at a local adoption agency. I suppose this position will allow me to see all aspects of birth from many ages of women. This position will require me to mentor young women as they stay in a dorm setting until they give birth. I will be taking them to appointments and school activities as well as attending births as their birth coach. All of these young women are in a situation where they will be giving their child up for adoption. I believe this will be a truly amazing experience for me.

Enjoy the lovely weather! Thanks for reading!