what next?

First off, Scott got a personal training job at LA fitness today. We are so excited!! He has been searching for a month with countless applications and doors closing everywhere he looks. This position will be in addition to his basketball coaching schedule and the bootcamp and personal training he will do on the side. Yah!!!

I have kind of a neat story that may inspire some of you. I have been waiting for the right time to share and I think this is it. It is a long one so if you don't have a chunk of time, you may want to wait.

Last June I can recall sitting on our couch in our house in Fort Worth longing to move closer to my family in Arkansas. There were nights we would sit on the front porch or visit over dinner about "our" plans to move. The day finally came that we said to one another that we would consider it. We took a trip to Arkansas to visit gyms and look for jobs. Heidi had clients that she had lined up for me to work with when I got there. The gym I would work from was right next door to the Pilates studio she works at. Scott ended up visiting with the owner of the gym and getting a personal training position there as well. That position was going to be based on commission, but we were up for it and really wanted to make the move. The rental house fell into place and it seemed as though we would have steady work when we arrived. We got home from that trip and started planning our move. We moved to Arkansas on our first anniversary in August.

We really enjoyed being in Arkansas near Heidi and her family. We lived about 5 blocks from them. Andrew became our best friend. We loved watching him on the days and nights that Heidi and Jacob worked. Scott and I formed a bond with the little guy. To this day when Andrew calls and leaves messages for me on my phone, Scott gets a little teary. We love that kid. But, as it turned out, Scott's position as a trainer at the gym wasn't bringing him the clients he had hoped for. He applied for a job at another gym that paid hourly and we finally felt as though we were making some headway. That was around the first part of September of last year.

On Sunday September 30, 2007 Scott and I were at church. During the worship part of the service a lady came from across the room over to me a Scott. Scott was standing at the end of the pew and I was next to him. She motioned for me and Scott let her by. I didn't know this woman and hadn't seen her before. She told me that she felt God speaking to her to come to me. She spoke a prophetic word to me and told me that I should be ready and that something big was about to happen in my life. I wasn't quite sure what to say, but as she walked away I quickly scribbled down those words in my journal that I take with me to church. Of course in the days to come I was seeking out what that would be. Would I get some amazing job? Would I have a baby? Would Scott get an incredible job offer? What would it be? I know that God was preparing my heart for something and I didn't know what. It wouldn't be until December 11th that I would find out what that would be. That was the day Scott was laid off from his job. This was the job that had been promising more hours to him after the new year, the job that "was never going away" or so we thought. Ha! Ok God, that wasn't what I was thinking was about to happen. That was a hard day for me, a hard day for us. As we tried to figure out our next steps, Christmas was approaching. We knew we wouldn't be able to make it long without a job for Scott. We were desparate and praying and searching. It came down to getting in touch with his old boss at The Vitamin Shoppe in Fort Worth to see if there was anything available. It turns out that the week prior, the assistant manager had left The Vitamin Shoppe and he was seeking a new manager. Scott decided to interview after Christmas. What did we have to lose at this point? Well, as you know, the story ends in Scott getting the job and us moving back to Texas after our sixth month stay in Arkansas. And, back into the same house we had moved out of when we moved to Arkansas. What a blessing! And we got a break on rent for painting. (The house story is another cool story that I will save for another day.) I am so glad we had that time in Arkansas because it made us closer to Heidi and her family and we formed a wonderful bond with Andrew. Well, I cried and cried and cried when we left and moved back. So much crying that Scott wasn't sure what he was going to do, he felt helpless. I had a hard time getting out of bed for about three weeks after being back. I was so depressed. Scott was working his new job and really enjoying it. I finally realized that I had to suck it up and get on with it. My life was going to go on and it was going to go on in Texas.

I got in touch with my old massage clients and got a few back, but it just wasn't as easy as it had been. In March I began searching for a stable job. We needed some income to pay our bills. We had acquired some debt with our moves and I knew what I had to do. I searched and sent resumes and just was not getting anywhere. Door after door was closing on me. Finally after three months of searching for a job, I found Veria. It was a natural wellness center (perfect), with a yoga studio (perfect), a spa (even more perfect), and a natural cafe (what more could I ask for?). It was a retail position, but come to find out, it provided insurance benefits and paid well. I was glad to have a steady job and thought benefits "would be nice" since we hadn't had any since being married. We weren't going to use them, but, you know, just in case. It didn't take long for me to realize that I was a bit uncomfortable working for someone again. I was used to having my own business with my own hours and no micromanaging. Again, I started searching and again doors were closing. I wasn't very happy and it had only been about three or four weeks. One day I noticed that I didn't really feel like the job was so bad and I put my job seeking on hold. Around this time we were blessed with a car that was given to us upon Scott's memaw passing and were able to sell Scott's car in one, yes one, day. We used that money to pay off two credit cards. I had also been working enough to pay our third credit card and our income taxes off. We were in a great place! We were starting to get ahead. This was about mid July. We had always talked that if A,B, and C happened that it would be the time to start a family. Well, A,B, and C happened. So, we decided it would be the time. Some of you know that we practice the Fertility Awareness Method of birth control (sorry if that is TMI) it is pertinant to the story. So, having said that, I am very aware of my body and keep mental charts in my head. I didn't know if I would be able to get pregnant right away. My parents tried for years, my sister...well, we love Andrew :) So, I just wasn't sure. Well, low and behold, I can get pregnant and on the first try at that. So, as you all know, I lost that pregnancy, but here is where my story comes full circle....I had health insurance!!!!! Praise God, I didn't have $25,000 of medical bills to pay on my own. I firmly believe that God directed that entire plan for me to be at Veria. I was meant to have carried and lost a baby to get me to the next phase in my life. Now, in a week and a half I will close the door to the Veria phase in my life. It was a blessing, but I have my passion to follow. In the days leading up to the surgery, I had been talking to my mother about becoming a doula (childbirthing coach). In the past I had contimplated the idea, but it just never seemed to be the right time. Well, it gets better.

So, of course I lost the baby and it became immediately apparent that I was to become a doula. About two weeks after surgery I had done all the research on the routes to take to become certified. As of today, I am right on track to getting trained and certified. But, I need to back up. In the meantime I was visiting with my friend Marissa about volunteer opportunities. I have really been feeling the tug to work with women. Marissa told me about The Gladney Center for Adoption. She was a volunteer there before her precious baby girl was born. I got onto the website to search for volunteer positions and came upon a paid position as a Childbirth Coordinator. As I read the job description I was in awe. I could see the path that had lead me to that very moment. That Saturday night I got home from work and submitted my resume. Well, two weeks later, now, I have started the training. And the story is still unfolding.

I have one more bit to the story and then I will close for tonight. I have to begin by tellling you what my goals and dreams for the future were before I got married. I wanted to be just like my mother, I don't really have to say more than that for people who know my mom. But, if you don't know her, she is amazing and you are missing out. She stayed at home while I was growing up. I was used to having her around and loved the idea of being a mom that is there for my children at all times. I had the idea that I would be just like that. I have had the opportunites to marry guys who ended up becoming doctors, engineers, pilots, you know....My life would probably be very different if I had married one of them. Well, it hasn't turned out that way. My husband was in school when we got married and at thirty years old, is just now coming into his career. It is a lot different than what I had dreamed of as a younger girl. But, this is what makes the story so cool. I have known for a while now that I will not be the stay at home wife and mother. That dream has been divinely changed for me and I am so grateful. Had I married someone who would had been able to provide for me financially from the get go, I do not believe that I would be able to come into the women I was meant to be. Or, I may have, only God knows that one. But, the discoveries I have had about myself and about my life are so awesome. I want to share about this past weekend when I was at the ladies retreat. Again, I received another prophetic word spoken to me. It was, again, from a women in the church that I don't know. She spoke to me that I am an impowered woman and that I am to use that power to help other women. After the session that morning she prayed with me. She doesn't know anything about me, but her prayer was that I was going to use these hands to help other women. WOW! Ok, God, I hear you. At that moment I knew that I have a big mission to fulfill. My ears and eyes are wide open and my heart is ready for whatever comes this way. God has always provided for us in the past. I have come to realize that my children will be taken care of when the time comes. I cannot become anxious or worried about that when I am not even close to needing to find childcare! :)

So, the last year has been a growing time and a listening time. And, to come full circle, I think I would cry and cry and cry if we left Fort Worth! Thank you Lord for my friends, church, clients, jobs, husband and everything else that has come our way. We are so blessed.