Tuesday, August 31, 2010

cake and icing

Today was the icing on the cake of "why mes?"

Let me start out with the cake and then I will get to the icing.

CAKE.

Why did I lose my first baby and a fallopian tube?

Why did I have to bleed in the first trimester of pregnancy and have to get shots of progesterone and progesterone suppositories?

Why did I get PUPPPs when only 1% of pregnant women get it?

Why do I have a sacralization in my spine that made my labor and birth so difficult?

Why did I get a third degree tear?

Why was my baby born with a two vessel cord?

Why did I get a hematoma on my perineum that I am just now getting over 10 and a half weeks later?

And the ICING....

Why, when I am exclusively breastfeeding on demand, do I have my period already!!!!???? One month after he was born I started (something), then 28 days later...again. Today was my very first pap smear. Sorry if this is TMI....but I actually took a look at my cervix and low and behold...there was fertile cervical fluid. Thank goodness I am very familiar with natural family planning because if not, I just might have wound up with another baby next year. The thought totally freaks me out.

So there you have it.

What is a girl to do?

Apparently I need to know a lot of things to become the person I am supposed to be. I guess God knew that I could handle all this stuff and that those who are going through it just might find their way to me. I am not an expert by any means, but I am a mom who has gone through a lot of things just so I can see this cute little face every day.

3 comments:

Lori said...

They say all this is supposed to refine us to look eventually become diamonds. You, my friend, will be the huge gemstone that is locked behind glass on display at a major museum. You two are definitely the strong ones. So sorry about your period! I'm glad you caught that!

Emily said...

WOW, besides all the cake stuff (which I'm sorry you had to go through and experience)..... I can't believe you already got your period back! That was suppose to be one of those perks of breastfeeding. Hang in there!

Smits Family said...

I fully think that as much as it STINKS that you have had all this happen, it is HUGE for your to have had some worst case scenarios so that you can WAU better understand in all of your jobs. No one wants a doula/massage therapist/lactation consultant who had it all easy. You can fully empathize and help better.

Remember that the next pregnancy may be WAY different. Mine were very different.

And, atleast it has been you in the 1% of things and not your sweet baby. We have had lots of things that we have dealt with for cooper and it has been him in the 1%.

It is all making you a tougher women/momma and making your lean on HIM more!