Wednesday, September 17, 2008

a little prayer needed this way

Thanks to all of my many friends and family who have been so supportive of all of my endeavors, including my latest and most exciting new challenge as a birth coordinator. I will be working at this position two days a week from 7am to 7pm on an on call basis. I will also be working at my other job in Arlington part time as well as keeping up a few massages as I can. I know this sounds like a lot, but it is worth it to me right now.

When my doula certification is complete (hopefully in the next six months) I would like to work as a doula and massage therapist. What I would really like to do is have my own center one day. My idea is to have a place that women can get counsel on nutrition, yoga, breastfeeding, massage and more before, during, and after pregnancy. I would like to have classes and "meetings" for expectant mom's to come and share with each other and learn new things. I have lots of ideas so we will see what the future holds. I have always wanted to have my own place to do massage and nutrition, now I just have a particular market in mind. The best part is, there will always be babies to be had.

I have something heavy on my heart tonight that I would really like prayer for. Today I received a second medical bill in the mail from my surgery. There will be more coming. (By the way, it is unreal what they can charge you for! I asked for a blanket in the waiting room of the ER since we only had a THREE hour wait, $52 ..... unbelievable!) I know that there is a reason for all we are going through. I am saddened, though, because we had just gotten most of our debt paid off this past summer. That was about the time we thought it was the time to have a baby. And, now, as you can see, no baby and we are even more in debt than we were in the first place. This is a lot more than I would normally share, but it is just that I am believing that there is a plan in store for us and I am praying to be able to have the wisdom and the faith to see the bigger picture. I just need a hug from someone who has "been there, done that" and has made it through. I am having a hard time understanding and I want to ask my infamous question "why" about all of this, but I already know "why". I have cried out, relied on, and prayed to God many times about this and He has given me peace beyond my own understanding. I am trying to allow myself to have the patience to watch it play out now. That is the hardest part!!

Time for bed now. Night night. Thanks for reading today.

4 comments:

racheljenae said...

Oh Hannah! Well first I love that you're a dreamer! You have so many desires in your heart and you're just stepping up and going after them! I'm amazed at how many people never do this...they're afraid of what's in their heart and scared to death to risk going after them! So just keep dreaming!
Second...why...well I'm in such an interesting season of my life that I never saw coming and didn't really want to come. it's not a bad season, just not where I wanted to be...and like you said, I just have so much peace and have had confirmation after confirmation that it's exactly where God wants me right now... and all i can say is 'God I trust that you see the big picture...and if you'll just give me a glimpse of it...that I can actual grasp, understand and not get overwhelmed by I'd appreciate it" :) At the core of who God is...he's always good and so you have to just believe that His plans are so much bigger and better than you could even imagine and even in not understanding...you just wait on the Lord and He renews your strength! At least that's what I try to do...when I'm not caught up in my own complaining and grumbling over not understanding :) We're working on that part :)
Anyways...I think your ammazing and I'm so excited for all your endeavors...I'm sure it will be lots of hard work... but dreams usually are!

Hannah said...

I love you, Hannah, and I'm sending you loads of love right now. And big (((HUGS))) too.

I have no doubt things are going to work out for you guys - with babies, jobs, money, etc. etc. etc. Seriously - I just know in my heart that you will be blessed. The waiting , patience and anticipation can be the hardest part. For sure.

The more you share about your job, the more I get excited for you! And your plans for the future - having a center like that - almost makes me want to pack up and move down south and have another baby. ;) What a fantastic place for pregnant women. I love it!

Now, give yourself a giant hug from me and go wrap up in your $52 blanket. Wait, they DID let you keep it, didn't they? (((HUGS)))

sheri said...

Okay, the mom in me wants to say, "Come home and we will make everything okay" but how dis empowering is that....

So I will say that you are an amazing woman and Scott is an amazing man. You will make it through this and isn't it nice to go through it with someone you love.

Anyway, to use an analogy from your present focus of attention.... sometimes the labor and delivery are worth the baby you receive from the discomfort. I wonder if you are birthing something wonderful in your experience that will bless you in the whole of your life.

God is faithful in his support and He is loving in his dealings with us in every way. There is no greater canopy than the Love of God.

You are always in my heart and prayers.
Mom

Hannah said...

You all are so sweet! I am so blessed to have such wonderful friends and family to be a support to me! Thanks!!!