"good luck with that"

Anyone ever say that to you?

Now that Baby R is starting to poke out in my belly, I have started getting "the" questions.

"Who is your doctor?" and "Where are you having your baby?"

At first I would start off by quickly saying we were using a group of midwives and we are birthing at home and immediately follow up with the fact that we only live five minutes from the hospital. One day I told Scott that I felt like I needed to justify the fact that we are having our baby at home. He didn't like that. He told me to be confident in our decision. There is nothing to be ashamed of. What a great, supportive husband I have.

When people say "good luck with that" to me about birthing at home, it just sounds so insincere....like they are just waiting for the day that I come and tell them about the "emergency" we ended up having and that we barely made it to the hospital in time for our lives to be saved. Hello....did I say "good luck with that" to you when you entered the hospital to have your baby? Did you know that around 98% of women birth in hospitals and that 30% of those women will end up with a c-section according to the national average. AND...if you live in North Texas, the statics are an astounding 50-60%. My comment to you is "good luck with that!" Of course, those percentages are lower if you do not have a medical induction or you have an unmedicated birth in the hospital (as many successfully do).

Ina May Gaskin is a midwife in Tennessee. She has helped over 2000 women give birth on The Farm and the c-section rate of her mommies is just 1.5%. Interesting.

The induction rate is steadily increasing as well. In the 10 years between 1990-2000 it jumped from 10% to 20%. Convenience is the key word. Baby R will come when he or she is ready. Although, toward the end I anticipate being very ready, but I know that medical interference would hinder Baby R from having the best possible chance for a safe and healthy arrival.

I am not out to prove anything by having an unmedicated birth at home. I don't feel like I am right and and everyone else is wrong. And, I am not judging you if you feel strongly in a different way. I have convictions about the reasons I am doing this. There are just a few really important things that I hope for when I have Baby R. One is that I will not willfully drug my baby. If IV and epidural drugs are strong enough to control the nervous system of a grown women, can you imagine the effects to a tiny baby? Not to mention the long term physical and mental side effects as they grow. Two, I want to establish successful bonding and breastfeeding immediately after birth. I feel this can best be achieved if my baby is fully alert and aware and not under the influence of narcotics or other drugs. And three, I want to feel safe, warm, comforted, loved, supported, and in control of my birth experience. This involves being surrounded by familiar things, having family there for support, having freedom of movement, and having the option to birth in whatever position I chose in the place I feel most comfortable at the time. I am not fearful. And, I will not fear the birth as it becomes eminent. Fear will inhibit the release of the natural oxytocin hormone that my body will produce to have a productive labor. But, I know this will not be an issue if I feel loved, safe and secure in my surroundings.

I made a promise to Baby R, even before conception, that I would love and care for him or her the best way that I know how. I began talking to my baby even before I knew I was pregnant, and I talk to my baby daily whether it be out loud or in my heart. This connection and bond that I have with Baby R has made me feel empowered during my pregnancy and I know that it will be empowering when I give birth.

Dear Baby R,

You have a little over four more months of warmth and solitude inside my belly. We cannot wait to meet you and look forward to the day you make your arrival. We have waited and prayed for you for a long time. As your mommy and daddy, we are doing the best we can to prepare mentally, physically, and spiritually for you. I love your little kicks and the movements that you make inside of me. Thanks for giving your daddy a little kick the other night. He loved to feel you move around and get comfy in there. I hope that you can hear him when he talks to you and reads you stories. He presses his ear to my belly to say hi to you often. Do you feel him? He loves you very much too. He is preparing a room just for you. He can't wait to hold you in his arms. Just an FYI: he is sensitive, so he may shed a tear or two when you are born. He may want to hold you all the time too. But, he is a big teddy bear and you will be comforted in his arms. Just know that you are already very near to our hearts and we love you.

Love,
Mommy R