Pregnancy is such a joyous and happy time for many families, especially those of us who have had a loss or have tried for some time to get pregnant. I realize people are excited for you when you get pregnant and want all the details. And, I also know that we are being a bit unconventional with our pregnancy and Baby R by not finding out the gender, not sharing the name, and having our baby at home.
But...
Here's my etiquette question...
Do most people these days assume that you are sharing the name of your baby with everyone?
I know most people find out what they are having and choose a name and tell the world. But, we have chosen to keep the name to ourselves. The more often I get asked what names we have picked, the more I wonder if we should just share. But, I like the surprise aspect. I want to see my baby for the first time and call her/him by the name we chose. When I get asked what names we have picked, I often respond with "we aren't for sure yet" or "we are still tossing around a few names".
When I think of naming Baby R, I am reminded of how fun it is for a family to chose a special name for each child. When my mom was pregnant with my brother 12 years ago, we would go around and name the baby at the dinner table. Nathan was 6 years old at the time and when it came to his turn, he would say "pass" each time. We joke that Daniel was almost named Pass because Nathan couldn't think of a name for him. We still didn't know Daniel's name until he after he was born. If I remember correctly, I don't recall that my parents told us the name of any my siblings before they were born. I didn't think that was weird though. It was, after all, their kid, right? Plus, when Henry was born, they got a lot of flack about his name. I am sure that is why they kept it to themselves until he was born. I can't imagine if he wasn't a Henry though. It just suits him. I suppose it is easier for people to give you their opinion before the baby is born then after when the name is legally confirmed on paper.
We are pretty confident in the names we have chosen for Baby R. I wanted names that had good meanings and sentimental value to us. I guess I am kind of old fashioned that way. I am quite sure we won't get any odd looks or comments for the names we picked. Yet, we would like to wait and share with everyone in June when Baby R has made the grand arrival.
What are your thoughts?
What made you share your baby's name or keep it to yourself?
How do you respond to the questions "What names have you chosen?" when you aren't sharing the name?
OH, and don't forget to vote on whether you think Baby R will wear Pink for Girl or Blue for Boy! :)
Iceland
2 years ago
Posts
6 comments:
I love the fact that you are keeping it between the two of you until Baby R arrives. It makes it so much more special. Plus, it's so personal that when you share it with someone, it's really hurtful if they don't like it or laugh or something.
Melvin and I plan on keeping the names to ourselves too when we start having kids. That way we can announce the baby along with their name:-) And it's just more special that way.
I never told anyone before and I don't remember anyone telling...times have changed. I think it is great to wait and you shouldn't have to explain.
We found out the sex with both of our kids. I'm just too impatient and a big planner, not to find out, but that's just what was right for us. Now adays I hear more and more people waiting to find out the sex and the same with names. That is one thing we were adamant about. We knew the names, but we weren't telling! Everyone and their dog tried getting it out of us. Close friends and family would beg us to tell them. My mom was the worse! She would say she needed the baby to have an identity. Or she would say how could she get anything monogrammed or engraved without knowing the baby's name. It drove her crazy, but oh well, she survived!
I agree with you and your friends, it makes it more special and personal. That first moment saying hello to my daughter and son by their name we had chosen was wonderful!
And another thing after that baby is there and they have their name no one can try to change your mind or give you their opinion about how they don't like that name or they knew someone with that name, etc, etc, etc.
Sorry for such a long post:)
We kept it to ourselves. I would just give people a big smile and say we aren't sharing the name until the baby is born. Making a tease/laugh out of it helped me.
I told my parents and siblings the names I was considering, but I don't think I told anyone else. I didn't really feel like it warranted a discussion with anyone but Joel. Same with the sex...we found out, but I was shocked when random people would just ask what we were having. It's none of their business! I think it's great that you're waiting to reveal everything on the big day!
I fully support any families decision to do EVERYTHING the way they want. Including sharing/not sharing/finding out the gender via ultrasound/not finding out the gender via ultrasound/what baby gear to purchase/not purchase/schedules/no schedules/crazy ironing/wrinkles in clothes etc. etc. etc. However, I do think we have to be careful...it is easy to like things your own way, but then to pass judgement on a parent for something they choose to do differently. :) But - your way is the right way and the best wasy for your family...as it should be! I can't even keep CHristmas gifts a secret, so of course my way was the right way when I blabbed their genders, names, etc. all ahead of time. That said, baby girl number three didn't have a name for a few days after she was born. Just couldn't figure it out until we met her. :) (And then Kamy picked her name. Ha!)
Just rest assured that no matter how crazy someone thinks you are, or aren't for whatever - it is your choice and that is all that matters. It is a respect issue with ALL things pregnancy/parenting related. That said, I wasn't ever offended by people asking anything. People just adore babies - they are so precious and amazing - they just get over-excited. :)
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