then and now

I have friends that blog about then and now. It is fun to see kids grow. It seems kinda silly since he is not even three months yet. But, the changes are so great!

THEN
first week

NOW
2 1/2 months

cake and icing

Today was the icing on the cake of "why mes?"

Let me start out with the cake and then I will get to the icing.

CAKE.

Why did I lose my first baby and a fallopian tube?

Why did I have to bleed in the first trimester of pregnancy and have to get shots of progesterone and progesterone suppositories?

Why did I get PUPPPs when only 1% of pregnant women get it?

Why do I have a sacralization in my spine that made my labor and birth so difficult?

Why did I get a third degree tear?

Why was my baby born with a two vessel cord?

Why did I get a hematoma on my perineum that I am just now getting over 10 and a half weeks later?

And the ICING....

Why, when I am exclusively breastfeeding on demand, do I have my period already!!!!???? One month after he was born I started (something), then 28 days later...again. Today was my very first pap smear. Sorry if this is TMI....but I actually took a look at my cervix and low and behold...there was fertile cervical fluid. Thank goodness I am very familiar with natural family planning because if not, I just might have wound up with another baby next year. The thought totally freaks me out.

So there you have it.

What is a girl to do?

Apparently I need to know a lot of things to become the person I am supposed to be. I guess God knew that I could handle all this stuff and that those who are going through it just might find their way to me. I am not an expert by any means, but I am a mom who has gone through a lot of things just so I can see this cute little face every day.

hungry and broke

Not us, thankfully.

Ironically, on the way home from the grocery store where I had just finished buying groceries that we could finally afford, I passed a guy standing on the corner holding a sign that read "hungry and broke." It got me thinking, how does someone get to such a desperate point to where they feel they have no other option but to stand on the street corner and beg? I wonder why they are spending their time begging rather than looking for a job? Are they ineligible for a job? Have they been in jail? Can they not keep a job? Who knows? But, I thought about giving this guy some food out of the grocery bag sitting on the seat next to me, but I was in the middle lane and decided not to yell across the busy street to give him food. I don't give beggars money because I saw an interesting thing once, but food or water I don't mind sharing.

That interesting thing I saw was this.

I had been downtown trying to meet some friends at the train station to head out for an evening in Dallas a couple of years ago. I got a bit lost so I stopped in a gas station to ask for directions. There was a lady in there buying beer. About a week later Scott and I went downtown to an art show and I saw the same lady holding a sign asking for money. So, that is why I don't trust beggars anymore. One lady ruined it for them all. It just makes me sad though. I am so thankful to know that if we were ever starting to get to that point, we have family that would graciously help us out. So that was that.

The weekends go by way too fast. We went from seeing Daddy all day every day to him working 50+ hours a week. Don't get me wrong, I am so grateful. We are paying off so many things. But, we miss Daddy when he works his pizza delivery job in the evenings. Saturday morning we went to breakfast for my birthday and then we went to a birth fair. I had to represent the Tarrant Co. Birth Network for two hours at our booth. When we got home we all crashed out. Little Bubs slept from 4:30pm to 7:30am (with three feeding in between of course). I think we are on the same path today. He has been sleeping since 3:30 this afternoon. It is currently 7:30pm. I think he must be going through a growth spurt because he doesn't usually sleep like this. But, I am not a rigid scheduler and feel that if he needs this sleep then he should have it. I am not about to wake him. I was a bit worried that last night he wouldn't sleep through the night, but he did. I am hoping he will sleep tonight too.

Little Bubs was dedicated at church today. And, being the amazing mother that I am, I hope this will forever be captured in our memory since I forgot the camera. He sure looked cute in his "little" (6-9 month) overall outfit. He was such a good boy and so well behaved too. I think every mother who takes her child to the front of the church on a Sunday dreads an outburst. But that, thankfully, did not happen to us. I hope and pray God will give us the strength and wisdom to be good parents and raise him to be a good young man. When I look at him my heart swells. He chose us to be his parents and I feel a lot of responsibility to care for and raise him well.

Inquiring minds want to know....who do you think he looks like? When we look at him we see a blend of both of us. What do you think?And, yes another video of baby babble. He has been talking so much lately and I love to capture it on camera. Mostly for the family who can't be here to watch him grow but also for us as I know that he will be all grown up before we know it.

a 30 year old mommy

So, what does a mommy do on her 30th birthday? Go to the fabric store. But, I am reminded that, yes, I am a mommy and even on my birthday, my baby still needs me all. day. long. But, just as I was taking my final browse around the store to pick up needles and bobbins, baby started to get the fussies. I knew that waiting until we got home was not an option. I wandered to the back of the store to find a quiet corner to nurse him on the floor. Just as he was finishing up, I looked up to see we had planted ourselves directly underneath the a security camera. Yes, I flashed my boob to the employees at JoAnns....nice. Well, my baby was satisfied with his little snack, so it was all worth it I suppose.

A sound morning sleep. I love to snuggle next to him in the mornings.

Happy little guy.

babies

In September I am starting back to work 2 days a week. I am a little apprehensive about the whole situation. I will be working half days and he will stay with my mother-in-law and my husband. I couldn't have asked for better care for him if it can't be me. But, there is still the issue of leaving him. I have spent all day every day with him since he has been born. No one knows him like I do. I have so many mixed feelings about the return. On one hand I am happy and excited to return to my clients and on the other I am just not ready to leave him. He seems so little still.

Two weeks ago he weighed nearly 13 lbs. He is getting pretty hefty....not my itty bitty baby anymore. I hold him close every second I can. It won't be long before he won't want to he held tight.

We are getting cute smiles and when he sleeps he laughs out loud. My friend said he is remembering where he came from. I'll go with that.
Scott found a poor, hot baby squirrel when he was watering the flowers the other night. It was still there the next morning, but by the afternoon it was gone. I hope it made it. It sure was hot out last week.

shoes, adjustments, and chats

I've been a shoe making fool!

Getting an adjustment. He always sleeps so well after his adjustments from Rachel. We love her!

Early morning chats.

jealousy

My husband and son have the cutest most wonderful chats with each other and I am jealous. Today was the first day that Little Bubs really started talking to me too. I know he was getting so used to Daddy being around all the time and then we went to Colorado and the day after he and I got back from being gone from Daddy for so long, Daddy started his new job. His eyes get really big and he gets the cutest grins when Daddy comes home from work and they sit and visit.

Lost the paci at nap time, but was very excited to find his finger to suck instead. It sufficed.

I can make dinner while he sleeps, although it takes me twice the time. But, at least he is happy and content close to Mommy.He loves bath time!