a mother just knows

I could never get away with anything in high school. My mother knew exactly where I had been and what I had been up to. Needless, to say, I spent most of my high school days grounded. At the time, I remember being so mad. She was a member of this secret moms club that had an eye out for each others kids. Ugh. But, now that I am a mother myself, I hope I can get into that secret moms club one day. Sorry, Mom (and Dad), for all I put you through.

But, I say all that because now that I am a mother, I know what it is like to have to trust your gut and God about things. I wish that moms could give each other a break. All we really want to do is take care of our kids the best way we know how. Any good mother is going to do whatever she can to give her child the best. Every mother has her own idea of what is "best" and that is okay. It makes us diverse and special individuals.

So, here is what I was faced with after Eli was born. As if facing possible miscarriage in the beginning and then getting PUPPPs wasn't enough, Eli was born with a two vessel cord. A normal cord has 3 vessels, two arteries and a vein. His had one artery and one vein. This occurs in about 1 in 100 pregnancies. We didn't know this prior to birth since our last sonogram was done at 12 weeks. Had we known, I would have most likely been labeled a "high risk" pregnancy. This is because babies with two vessel cords can have issues such as low birth weight and trouble gaining weight, renal issues, and heart conditions. As a high risk patient, I would have seen a specialist regurlarly, had frequent sonograms, and most likely would have had to have had him in the hospital. Thankfully his birth weight was not an issue, but the midwives suggested we see a pediatrician to check him out. In the day(s) following his birth, we knew that the renal problems were not going to be an issue. He was having frequent diaper changes. But, we were considering getting his heart checked even though he was looking and acting perfect. The day and day after he was born we started looking into doctors. Because we are on Medicaid, it was becoming a daunting task. I wanted to go to someone who was a referral, but every place I called didn't accept the kind of Medicaid we had. Finally, after about four days and ten phone calls, I decided to give up. One morning when he was just about a week old, I woke up and decided I would give it one more try. I called Medicaid directly and just got the name of the doctors in our area that would take our Medicaid. There just so happened to be a doctors office right down the block from us and they could see us later that morning. I wasn't completely sure about it, but, after all, we were just going in to get his heart listened to and get on outta there. Scott came with us to the appointment. When we walked in the door, I was immediately wanting to leave. The place was dirty and stark and their were screaming kids running around. I took up our paperwork and was signing in when this conversation occurred:

Me: "Hi, I am Hannah and I am here for my son's check-up.

Front Dest Lady: "Ok, I just need your insurance and shot record."

Me: "I have the insurance card, but no shot record."

FDL: "Will you be getting his shots today?"

Me: "No, we are not vaccinating."

FDL: "Oh, really? I am sorry, but our office does not accept patients that do not vaccinate."

Me: "Okay, good-bye."

That was the confirmation we needed. Scott and I left and agreed that if something was truly wrong with our baby that God would have provided a doctor for us by now. Eli is perfect. He has shown no outward physical signs of any defects or heart related problems, such as trouble breathing or turning gray. At his first visit with the midwives on day four after his birth he had lost 12 ounces. Four days after that he had gained 10 of those ounces back. I think he is just fine...eating like a champ. He is very active and alert and only fusses when he is hungry, but don't we all?

We are all doing well. I am recovering "down there" a lot more quickly than I expected thanks to Earth Mama Angel Baby Bottom Balm! He is a good eater, sleeper, and pooper. Poor little guy gets the hiccups frequently. He always had them inside and I figured it would continue. Mom learned some acupressure points and is going to be working on him so he can hopefully overcome that little issue.

Being a mom is kind of exhausting, but so wonderful all at the same time. I love to look at him and tell him how much I love him. He is such a good baby and I am so happy he is finally here.