true confessions of pregnancy

Kudos to Michelle Duggar who has done this 19 times.

I, however, will NOT be doing this 19 times.

I am not a fan of being pregnant. Don't get me wrong, I love the anticipation of waiting on Baby R and the wonderment of what he or she will look like, smell like, act like, etc... I love the kicks and little responses he/she gives when we talk or read books. I love a lot of things, but for the most part, I don't think I am well suited for this many more times.

In the beginning, it was the 24/7 nausea. Okay, I dealt with that and made it through. Then, I thought "I can totally make it! I love being pregnant."

But, quite honestly, I am feeling a bit depressed these days.

Why so glum you ask?

I am 36 weeks and one day today. At 34 weeks and 5 days I developed PUPPPs (pruritic urticarial papules and plaques or pregnancy). Chances are you have never heard of this. That is because only about 1% of pregnant women experience it. I didn't even know what was going on until I started itching more fiercely than just regular pregnancy related itching. I did a little research and self diagnosed. The midwives agree it's PUPPPs.

Imagine playing and rolling around in the yard on a summer afternoon and getting bitten by chiggers..... all. over. your. body. That is the feeling I am experiencing. It started on my belly, moved to my arms, then back, then legs, bottom, and now the soles of my feet. There is no "cure" for PUPPPs besides giving birth (that could be 4-6 more weeks). They aren't even really quite sure what causes it. I have tried temporary remedies such as...

oatmeal baths

baking soda soaks

homeopathic creams

dandelion root capsules

homeopathic allergy spray

calamine lotion

Rainier PUPPPs Soap

and the list goes on....

I am resorting to acupuncture. Waiting two more days. I am hoping and praying for relief. Until then, I am doing all I can to make it through each day with the constantly itchy skin. Sometimes it is hard because I itch the skin off and get little scabs and then itch those off too. I have been waking up at night with severe itching "attacks" as I like to call them. I can now understand why women want to induce their labor when they have things happen that make them uncomfortable during the final stages of pregnancy. As miserable as I am, however, I will not resort to that. I am just trying to keep my chin up and think of the HAPPY ending. Baby R will be oh so worth all of this.

On the upside, I am sure I will be a more sympathetic doula for all I have experienced during this pregnancy. And, I know that women experience much worse, so I am thankful that at least this condition is not harmful to my baby.

And, I am grateful for a wonderful husband who is truly sympathetic to what is going on. He feels so helpless, yet says all the right things when I feel like I just can't take it any more. I guess this is all preparing him for the birth as well.

What a downer of a post....I know. Thanks for your prayers.